Pram Rage

Having a child definitely adds another chapter to ones life. The house takes on a whole appearance, and the practice of 'popping out to the shops' becames a highly coordinated event. And it is on this that i would like to reflect today.

I have quite a passion for shopping – I love it. If shopping was a full time job i would do overtime every week AND still pop out to the shops on my day off.

At my local shopping centre there used to be a woman who was there every day that was known as the pram natzi. I know she was there everyday because of my own observations and that of and other mum who go to the centre. And i say used to be, because she has not been seen for sometime now...

From my own experiences (and the stories i have heard from other mums) TPN (the pram natzi) always seemed to appear from nowhere and always manages to nearly run into any pram she sees and she will abuse the hell out of the pram driver!!!

But another perk of being a pram driver is the parking at my local shopping centre. A few places within the car park there a designated parking spots for “parents with prams”. Half the time these spots are already taken because it is not like they are a secret, but they are very handy when you can get one of them.

The last time i managed to get one of the parks it was a wet, rainy day. Now on wet days, if you can just jump out of your car and run into the shops – it is a hassle, but it is not that hard. But when you have a child it is impossible to jump out of the car and run. With a child (toddler in my case), i have to get out of the car, go round to the boot and get the pram out, go back to the passenger side of the car and get any bags that i may have brought with me - which on a good day will consist of my handbag, a nappy bag, a bag with food and drink options for Peanut and some empty bags to put any shopping into – then i have to get Peanut out of the car and into the pram and then and only then can i think about heading into the shops.

Now this is a bit for of process at the best of times, but when it is raining it becomes quite a rushed event, and having the option of using a “parent with pram” parking spot (which tend to be very close to the door of the shopping centre, making the dash ends up being the easiest part of it.

So on the day in question, the wet and raining day, once Peanut and i had finished our shopping we headed back to the car. Of course as soon as i pulled the pram up along side the car there was a car waiting to take the spot and i noticed the there was only one person in the car – the driver, no child, no baby, and definitely no pram! So i took my time getting my shopping into the car (it had stopped raining), took my time putting Peanut into his car seat, took my time folding up the pram and putting it into the boot. The car that was waiting sat there through all this.

I did consider doing an “oops, i forgot something” motion and getting Peanut back out of the car and going back into the shops, but Peanut was tired and i did want to get him home.

So i pulled the car out of the parking spot and watched as the other driver pulled his car in. I sat there and watched him as he sat in his car for a few moments and then when he got out of the car i wound my window to alert him to the error he had made with choosing that particular parking spot.

“Excuse me, did you realise that you have parked in a “parents with prams” parking space?” - “Lose some weight Fatty” was the mans response. Well i knew that i was dealing with someone of incredible intellect and i pointed out to him the people who live in glass houses should not throw stones. He asked me what i meant by that and i reminded him that he also carried a little bit of extra weight.

His next insult to me was as well thought out and articulate as the first - “Why don't you get a job!”, to which i corrected him that i do currently have gainful employment - “As what? a hooker?” - “No, a receptionist” - “your a cocky bitch, you just need a good f*@#” - “Thanks for the advise, I'll let my husband know your opinion and see if he can remedy that fact”.

It was at that point that he just gave me a bit of a snarl and walked into the shopping centre.

But of course having a pram is not all conflict, you should how much shopping i can fit into that thing! I'm thinking that even when Peanut does not need it anymore i will still take it to the shops just for the bag space.

:) Reggie